Customer Service People

Though I've been working various customer service jobs since the day I decided to join the work force, I have to say, I hate working customer service jobs.  There are many, MANY reasons for that, but unfortunately, even though in the back of my head I'm screaming at people, I still seem to be good at it. It's not that the work is grueling, and in fact, on most days, it's quite easy.  It's the various people you have to deal with in customer service that make the days go like hell.

Because I like listing things though, I thought about it for a while and decided to write a nice little list of the people you will have to deal with in customer service, and why you will hate them.

1: The talker - This customer just likes to talk.  Whether they are lonely or just have a lot to say they insist on taking up your time with anecdotes about themselves and talking about current events all day long.  If you try to break it off with them so you can do something else, they follow you or hang around until it looks like you are doing nothing and then they talk with you some more, essentially preventing you from doing what you need to do.  There are only two things that stop them.  One is them leaving, and two is being rude towards them.  Since you don't want to do the latter, you end up waiting for the former.

2: The cheapskate - He wants $100 stuff, but he want's to spend $5.  This person, regardless of what you attempt to do, will always buy only the cheapest thing you can find to suit his/her needs, even when you tell them they will be in every week purchasing the exact same thing over and over again, and if they'd just spend a little more, they'd get something that lasts much longer and would save them money.

3: The know-it-all - This person knows everything about everything you sell (at least they think they do) and must correct everything you say about something.  Sometimes they'll even rub it in your face saying that they know more than you so you couldn't possibly help them with what they are searching for.

4: The unconsolable - They walk in angry, cause a scene, and even after hearing their situation and knowing what happened, and trying to explain things calmly, they still want to yell and rant until they get their way.

5: The stranger - Usually a tourist or someone that just doesn't know how to speak your language, they are really hard to understand, if at all, even when they talk slowly.  Yet, you have to try to help them as much as possible, and you feel really bad when communications break down to a point where you just start trying to get rid of them by telling them you don't have something.

6: The man on the mission - He'll walk in, head straight for what he gets every week, and walks out.  Never talking, never changing his routine.  You can't sell him anything, or show him a new item that came in that he might be interested in.  In fact, you can't show him anything.  And if he has to wait in line for check out, expect him to start letting everyone know that his time is valuable.

7: The big spender - This person comes in and basically wants everything from all around the store.  This person isn't so bad, and is the person you kind of want to come in every so often, especially if you earn commission.  They want the most expensive items, and they want a lot of it.  You usually have to take the time to go the extra mile just to ensure that they feel like a VIP, but at least you made an impressive sale.  I only mention this person to mention....

8: The fake spender - This person wants to be The Big Spender, but they don't have that kind of money.  But they'll make you go through all of the motions, get all the nice items, and eventually bring them up to the register, only to find out they don't have a valid card, or no cash, or worse yet, they aren't legally allowed to purchase the items.  Then they just leave, and you are left with a cart full of items to put back away, and about an hour or two of your shift completely wasted by one person.

9: The looky-loo - They walk in, and look through the entire store for an hour, sometimes more.  They never purchase anything, and sometimes will break something while they are there.  The only redeeming quality about them is they don't take up your time talking to you about nothing.

10: The closing staller - This person comes in with less than 5 minutes left before you lock the doors.  With they way they were running in, you'd think they were going to be in and out, but nope.  Instead they walk around looking at everything, grabbing little things here and there.  Fifteen to twenty minutes later, they finally decide they are done and you can finally close.  It's really aggravating on slow days when the store is already front and faced, everything is stocked, and the last till in the registers should only take five minutes to count, and they come in and purchase a bunch of stuff, and pay in cash.  One person just forced you to be there for another twenty minutes AFTER they leave.

11: The dog walker - Oh look...they have a dog (or cat, or lizard, or ferret, or whatever else), and they decide that that dog needs to go into every store with them.  Never mind that there is food to contaminate and breakables around just waiting for a dog tail to smack them.  Nope, it's just a cute doggy.  Next time I see a dog, or any other pet, in a grocery store though, I'm lighting up a cigarette in the store.

12: The mother/father - Parents...I completely respect what you guys do, especially with the little ones.  But if you have little ones that like to run around, scream, touch everything, and are generally hard to handle, at least allow someone working there to assist you so you can concentrate on controlling your little hellians.

13: The stoner - As soon as they walk in, you can smell it.  The definite aroma of marijuana.  It could be B.O., but as you look at them you can see the blood shot eyes and they are kind of giggly.  The scent is strong enough you are getting a contact high from it.  Do us all a favor.  Either smoke after you get what you need, or at least stand outside and air out a bit.

14: The moron - They are looking for something.  They don't know what, but they know what the label looks like.  Unfortunately, that label is the most generic label in the world, and they don't even describe it well enough to narrow it down to one thing.  They don't know the name of the product, or even what to call it.  After a minute of trying to figure it out, they start questioning whether it was a real item or if they just dreamed it.

15: The price comparator - Insists on telling everyone that works in the store about other stores selling the same item for cheaper.  If you suggest that he tells corporate (the people that actually can do something about it), he just shrugs like he doesn't care.  You wonder why he doesn't just go to that store, but week after week he's back and he has new items to complain about the price to you about.

16: The eternal adder - They come up to the register all ready to go...oh wait...they want to get one more thing.  Well, you've already started the transaction and no one is in line, you'll just wait.  Next thing you know, they've added twenty items and now there are seven people in line waiting on this person to finish up.  Every time you are about to try and just cancel it, he comes back up, looking like he wants to close out.

17: The rearranger -  They come in and grab something, but then they see something else and put their original item someplace it doesn't belong.  Then it happens again.  And again.  Next thing you know there are items all over the store.

18: The phone caller - They walk in and are on their cell phone, talking about who the hell cares.  They never get off the phone though, the entire time they are in the store, even when they check out.  You can't say anything to them to loud for fear of them getting offended that you interrupted their call.  Forewarning, if you come to my store and talk on your cell phone while I ring you up, I don't care what you think.  I will talk loud, fast and I won't repeat myself.  You want to be rude to me, so I'll be rude right back.  Finish your call outside before you shop, or at the very least finish it before you check out.  You can always just say "I'm about to check out.  I'll call you back in 10 minutes."

19: The thief - They come in many forms, shapes, sizes, and colors, but you still know them when the come in.  Sometimes they are good and you don't know if they took something.  Others are terrible at it and you just groan, especially if your store has a policy that you can't do anything about it for one reason or another.

20: The questioner - They have questions.  Lots of questions.  Questions about EVERYTHING.  Most of the stuff they ask questions on they aren't even going to buy.  After a while of explaining so many things to them, you start realizing it and just want to get away where your efforts will be more profitable.  Yet, they always have one more question.  Always one more.

Oh nice...I made an even twenty of them.  It's almost like I planned that. >:)

Most of these, people can't change.  It's part of who that person is.  I know myself I'm a number 1 and 6, with sometimes a number 9.  Being anything on this doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad customer, just annoying after a long day.  So which ones do you see yourself as?