For the last two years, I've been living with my parents (whom I affectionately call 'the 'rents'), and for the most part it's been okay. It took me a while to find a job, and when I did it was just part time working at a liquor store, and after two years I finally have a chance to get something full-time that I can move out on my own again on. I do what I can to help out, whether it's vacuuming, or the dishes, or even washing the cars if they want me to. I'm not perfect, but I try real hard to do what I can to help out. And I do it out of respect for them helping through a tough time.
About seven months ago though, my aunt hit near rock bottom. After quite a while of having problems with money (which my dad as well as other family members helped her with), she was in danger of being kicked to the curb. My dad was nice enough to say she could move in with us for a while until she got back on her feet, something we were also going to help her with.
At that time, I didn't know the extent of the damage, but with her on the cusp of being force out of here, I now know every detail. For years, she has been borrowing money from family, never even attempting to pay them back. While living with us, she has spent more time going back to her husband (who is a drunk and has even attacked their sons before) and hanging out with her friends than with her 18 year old son in high school who is living with us as well. She doesn't do anything to help out around the house, and shows no sign of gratitude towards my parents. This fifty year old woman basically has the mentality of an angst ridden teenager when it comes to respect. Just this week, she spent ten days being with her friends, while the son living with us was under our care during his spring break. She ended up coming home at 9pm on Sunday, said a quick "Hello." and then ran up to her room and hid. She never checked to see what was going on this week, or even attempted to come home and take care of her own son. My mother ended up doing his laundry, on top of the task of making sure that he ate. My aunt has never taught him how to do anything to fend for himself, and in my opinion has set him up to basically to fail for the rest of his life. Total, she owes my father somewhere in the vicinity of 8-12 thousand dollars, and he's already said that he doesn't ever expect to get it back.
Her basic routine during the week is to wake up, drive her son to school, go to work, and come home at around 10 or 11pm. Given what she does, I don't fault her for that much, though my mother is pissed that she can't seem to wash a coffee mug after she's done using it. On weekends, she remains with her husband and friends, avoiding contact until Sunday when she arrives either right before dinner or right after dinner. She eats, then hides.
There are ton of little things as well. She uses my bathroom, and when I wake up in the morning, I find that she's used the toilet and hasn't flushed. Her room is so cluttered it makes my room look pristine (I don't keep the tidiest of rooms). She never offers to do the dishes, and she never tries to even do her son's laundry for school. On the one or two nights in which she's been home and my parents were away that weekend, instead of actually preparing something decent for a meal, she's made hamburger helper. Her one night home with her son, and she makes something a bachelor makes when he's eating alone. And that's just here.
Over the years, apparently she's never pushed her children to be better, so the son living with us is in some of the easiest classes I've ever heard of, despite him being quite intelligent. Her apartment, the one time I've been over there, made Chernobyl look livable. She's avoided taxes several times, which is where some of her money troubles came in, and at family functions she does nothing but eat and socialize, never trying to even lift a finger to help with anything. The first family function I did with that side of the family, I was asking if there was anything I could do to help, and after dinner I helped with the dishes, something I learned to do from a very young age.
I tell you all this because you should respect people, especially if they are trying to help you out. I can tell you right now that after this entire incident, she's burned a major bridge between not only this house, but the rest of the family. I'd be surprised if she has another bridge to even cross should she fail at being a human being again.
But yeah...respect people. Help them out, and strengthen that bridge so that if something happens later on, you have somewhere to go to for help yourself.
About seven months ago though, my aunt hit near rock bottom. After quite a while of having problems with money (which my dad as well as other family members helped her with), she was in danger of being kicked to the curb. My dad was nice enough to say she could move in with us for a while until she got back on her feet, something we were also going to help her with.
At that time, I didn't know the extent of the damage, but with her on the cusp of being force out of here, I now know every detail. For years, she has been borrowing money from family, never even attempting to pay them back. While living with us, she has spent more time going back to her husband (who is a drunk and has even attacked their sons before) and hanging out with her friends than with her 18 year old son in high school who is living with us as well. She doesn't do anything to help out around the house, and shows no sign of gratitude towards my parents. This fifty year old woman basically has the mentality of an angst ridden teenager when it comes to respect. Just this week, she spent ten days being with her friends, while the son living with us was under our care during his spring break. She ended up coming home at 9pm on Sunday, said a quick "Hello." and then ran up to her room and hid. She never checked to see what was going on this week, or even attempted to come home and take care of her own son. My mother ended up doing his laundry, on top of the task of making sure that he ate. My aunt has never taught him how to do anything to fend for himself, and in my opinion has set him up to basically to fail for the rest of his life. Total, she owes my father somewhere in the vicinity of 8-12 thousand dollars, and he's already said that he doesn't ever expect to get it back.
Her basic routine during the week is to wake up, drive her son to school, go to work, and come home at around 10 or 11pm. Given what she does, I don't fault her for that much, though my mother is pissed that she can't seem to wash a coffee mug after she's done using it. On weekends, she remains with her husband and friends, avoiding contact until Sunday when she arrives either right before dinner or right after dinner. She eats, then hides.
There are ton of little things as well. She uses my bathroom, and when I wake up in the morning, I find that she's used the toilet and hasn't flushed. Her room is so cluttered it makes my room look pristine (I don't keep the tidiest of rooms). She never offers to do the dishes, and she never tries to even do her son's laundry for school. On the one or two nights in which she's been home and my parents were away that weekend, instead of actually preparing something decent for a meal, she's made hamburger helper. Her one night home with her son, and she makes something a bachelor makes when he's eating alone. And that's just here.
Over the years, apparently she's never pushed her children to be better, so the son living with us is in some of the easiest classes I've ever heard of, despite him being quite intelligent. Her apartment, the one time I've been over there, made Chernobyl look livable. She's avoided taxes several times, which is where some of her money troubles came in, and at family functions she does nothing but eat and socialize, never trying to even lift a finger to help with anything. The first family function I did with that side of the family, I was asking if there was anything I could do to help, and after dinner I helped with the dishes, something I learned to do from a very young age.
I tell you all this because you should respect people, especially if they are trying to help you out. I can tell you right now that after this entire incident, she's burned a major bridge between not only this house, but the rest of the family. I'd be surprised if she has another bridge to even cross should she fail at being a human being again.
But yeah...respect people. Help them out, and strengthen that bridge so that if something happens later on, you have somewhere to go to for help yourself.
Well written.
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